Did I reel you in with that fantastic title? Was it as fabulous as RuPaul? I don’t know if that’s actually possible. DEFINITELY not as fierce. I mean, unless you’re a tiger or a lion. They’re pretty fierce. But so is my cat… I mean, she THINKS she’s fierce. She’s really just a jerk. Anyway…

So last week, one of Steve’s coworkers (we’ll call her Kate) mentioned something about going to this Lego Brick Fair in Birmingham with her boyfriend (let’s call him Tom) and his family. NATURALLY, he wanted to know more (one of the things I love about Steve - he’s always searching for more info.) and found out that Tom’s family have an entry every year and that it’s a competition! A competition about something creative (and FUN)? Sign me up! I mean, not literally… I wanted to go look - NOT participate.

So on that cold rainy Saturday, we drove to Birmingham (Steve, me and Maggie) to “see some Legos” (which is what I thought going into this). My favorite burger joint, Whataburger, is on the way, so we decided to stop for lunch before we got to B’ham. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR - it was closed. They had painted the iconic orange roof a milky tan color. I literally screamed out loud (and almost caused a massive wreck). My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty - how could I ever survive without my Whataburger-fix? I had been dreaming about that yummy burger since BIRTH (slight exaggeration. Moving on now)! No need to fear - there’s another Whataburger (although sub-par to my FAVORITE Whataburger) about 15 miles up the road, so we adjusted our sights and headed north. Ok, yes, it’s a Whataburger… but it’s not the same. There was too much mustard. The fries were undercooked. Will I stop there again next time I drive to B’ham? Probably. I mean, IT’S WHATABURGER!

When we got to the Birmingham Civic Center (in the rain and cold) , we pretty quickly found a parking spot. Now, this building is big. MASSIVE. Like, 3 city-blocks long. With multiple entrances. We chose the wrong entrance. Remember I said it was raining? And cold? We had to walk outside (in the rain and cold) for like 47 miles until we found the right door. Steve said multiple times that he’d go move the car (begged, in fact), but we had already paid $10 for our spot and… I’m frugal like that.

Well, we FINALLY made it to the door (3 city blocks away. In the cold. And rain.) and entered into the most fantasticaI exhibit of Legos I’ve ever seen. Yep, even more fantastic than when Willowdean Dickson and her best friend Ellen (in the movie Dumplin’) came out on stage at the Miss Teen Bluebonnet Pageant in those swimsuits (side note: if you haven’t seen Dumplin’, Go. Do it now. Awww… my mom would’ve LOVED that movie).

Anyway, back to Legos… I’ve truly never seen anything like this. I definitely don’t need another hobby, but I was kind-of jelly of the people who had built all that stuff out of Legos! I mean, who DOESN’T love building magical creations with Legos? If you don’t, DON’T tell me… you’re just wrong. So wrong! The truth of the matter is that EVERYONE loves Legos! You may be thinking, “That’s a mighty bold statement, little lady”... And you would be right! I AM bold. Bold like a 5ft tall Rapunzel’s Tower built out of Legos (yep, saw one of those there too). At least everyone SHOULD love playing with Legos. There, I said it.

**I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby.

Everywhere you looked was something more and more fantastic than the last thing you saw! Kind-of like the fashion shows on Drag Race. Seriously, every outfit that comes down the runway is bigger and fiercer (is that a word?) than the last! There were entire towns built out of Legos.

Tom’s family (remember him?) had an an entire (at least 18 ft long) setup of Harry Potter (including the castle, quidditch, the towns of Hogsmead and Diagon Alley, the train station, Privet Drive, and **SPOILER ALERT** even the cemetery from book 4 with the portkey and Cedric Diggery… dead). It was FANTASTIC! Work it! Work it!

There was a MASSIVE Jurassic World theme park display with 2 working roller coasters. The dinosaur enclosure was even busted and dinos were raging out through the park terrorizing guests.

One man had researched and built a historically-accurate rendition of the Battle of Fredericksburg during the Civil War. Well, as historically accurate as a Lego battle can actually be...

Speaking of battles, there was a whole war section with tanks and war planes built out of Legos, guns made out of Legos (not really “working” guns… but they did look pretty realistic. I mean, as “realistic” as a gun built out of Legos can actually be), WWII battles, some more recent “Desert Storm” battle scenes, and even a huge (HUUUUUUUGE) 7ft long battleship.

There were quite a few “older” historical scenes as well. We got to see the Battle of Trojan with the big Trojan horse at the gate to the city, a bunch of castles and knights (some mid-battle), and even Stonehenge.

Well, what Stonehenge was supposed to have looked like in 2000BC or something like that. Look at the little piggy sacrifice in the center 😍. AND the little Stonehenge-builders moving the HUGE pieces of stone (on a little cart rolling along some logs). That is if people actually made Stonehenge. (Totally kidding... OF COURSE people made Stonehenge. Or did they?)

**I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby.

You’ve probably guessed that I had a REALLY GREAT TIME! I felt like a big kid in a candy store (or maybe a LEGO STORE). There was a vendor area with 50 gazillion kids (only a slight exaggeration) buying Lego sets and custom made Legos and there was a booth selling every Lego figurine you could ever think about. Like, EVERY.CHARACTER. Seriously. Harry Potter in every single outfit he appeared in throughout all 8 movies. All 500 iterations of the Joker (from the mid-1900’s through Joaquin Phoenix). Gollum. Dobby. Snow White. Maleficent (this one was really cool). Pokemon (ALL.OF.THEM). You name any character from any series (Friends, Big Bang, etc.) - they had it. Wait. No they didn’t! Come to think of it - there were ZERO RuPaul Legos. I think someone needs to change that!

**I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another hobby.

I think it’s safe to say that we will ABSOLUTELY be going to the Brick Fair next year. It’s already on my calendar. Heck, if we see any other Lego events - I might go to those too!

If they build it, I will come.

** I don’t need another hobby... I don’t need another - wait, I just remembered Maggie has a box of old Legos in her closet. They’re all pink, but I could build something pretty BadA$$ out of pink Legos! Maybe I DO need another hobby!

Stay tuned: there may be a FIERCE Drag Show entry at next year’s Brick Fair…..

**Sashay, Shantay!

How to make Lego sculptures as fierce as RuPaul

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